It usually starts with legal intoxicants like cigarettes and alcohol, the oft-cited “Gateway drugs” in which some tend to include marijuana as well. Mine is a similar story, experimenting initially with the “legal” drugs it wasn’t long before I started meddling with the “illegal” and “hard” drugs ranging from prescription medication, cannabis and opiates to hallucinogens like LSD.
The start was out of curiosity, to try and feel the various “highs” each different drug had to offer, the journey saw me dabbling with “party” drugs like mdma and meth and even “designer” drugs like 2CB. Eventually, before one realises it, escapism takes over, not feeling good today take something, feeling low, tense or under pressure due to life struggles, take something, if you took “uppers” or stimulants and are having a hard time getting back to normal (so that you can get your appetite back and then sleep peacefully) take some “downers” or sedatives.
It was not long before I realised that I need help, self-administering substances is not the normal way to lead one’s life. Through divine grace, I was fortunate to get the medical help which so many people desperately need and only some are lucky enough to get. I was admitted to Tulasi Healthcare Centre by my parents, the round the clock availability of medical experts ranging from psychiatrists, psychologists and nurses, to support staff of social workers, was a God sent.
The psychologists helped me identify the problem areas and to heal past emotional traumas, to introspect and get to the realisation, to a stage of acceptance of the fact that I have a drug problem and that it is a disease which I will have to be careful about throughout my life. Only then will I be able to walk on the path of recovery which like life is a “journey” and not a “destination”.
Recovery is not something which can be taken lightly, the problem of drug abuse is basically a problem of emotions, I was not dealing with my emotions in a healthy way, trying to fix them by taking external substances, in the process making things worse, losing perception of reality and blaming circumstances for my condition rather than accepting the fact that it is my own reactions that are faulty.
Circumstances, by and large, in my life are still the same, if not worse, but it is the acceptance of the whole deal, of the game of life, that we are not in control of the things that happen to us but the way we perceive them and then act (or react) to them.
I cannot thank the people at Tulasi Healthcare Centre enough, they have played an immense role in providing me with a new lease of life. Ultimately, I will thank God, in thanking him I will be able to thank everyone from my parents to Dr. Gorav Gupta who has proved to be a beacon of light to the countless souls progressing on the path of recovery like me.
Author: Ajitinder Singh Sandhu Ex patient at Tulasi Healthcare.
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